Terms and Conditions

The Wrong Music Complaints Department Terms And Conditions

On purchase of any Complaints Dept release you hereby agree to all of our terms and conditions, and thus rules, as set by the board and general committee for all things complaints shape. ((C)Poerkulated 2004)

Any complaints received about complaints can and will be used against you in any method we see fit, under regulated penal code 7 and unregulated 12v ac current inspection.

You must be over 18 to even think about the complaints department, the methods and ideas used in some releases can seriously affect education, and/or eyesight.

Any offense/allergic reaction to Craplist must be referred to a medical professional immediately, and is under no way a responsibilty of the complaints dept or any of it's affiliates.

You have the duty to be clean any time listening to complaints, and they are best enjoyed at 15 degrees C or 377 degrees Fahrenheit.

Left handed people should listen to complaints from the left hand side to avoid confusion of instructions accepted beyond the third minute of any of the last 3 tracks.

Track listings are used at the artist's discretion and under no way reflects the content or any other beef listing. We reserve the right to reserve tables and not go to restaurants.

All material contained within the release is made buy the artist themselves, without any inflatable or artificial preservatives. Any similarity is purely coincidental, maybe stereos left on in the background or something, but definitely not intentional.

Album artwork is researched, clearly defined and often the best hint for a complaint.

By accepting these terms and conditions you agree;

You will like everything that you buy from the complaints department.

Any offence taken, will and should be taken out on the nearest person.

You agree never to eat carrots whilst listening to The Power Tool Posse.

Construction performed beyond the west side is not the responsibilty of me.

All music is

Statutory Rights
The statutory rights of the consumer are seriously affected by the terms of our service, we have also introduced a statutory wrongs system, which you will have to adhere to (can affect vegetarians).

Complaints department will only provide a full refund if any releases turn out to be good or different from those ordered, of course we decide what is good, open to suggestion. We will arrange to collect any releases that require a refund, and try to make them worse. A rehabilitation centre for artists has been set up in Durham, often even talented people can be taught how to make crap music.

It is illegal for anyone under the age of 18 years to purchase alcoholic Complaints Department beverages in the UK. The Poerk Apple requires that all customers agree to supply proof of age on request and we further undertake that we will not sell or deliver releases to anyone who is, or appears to be under the age of eighteen, thirty-nine or over thirt-nine.

Listening to distilled spirits, beer, wine and other alcoholic beverages may increase cancer risk and, during pregnancy, can cause birth defects, injesting complaints releases can also affect nipples, legs, and knees, liver, kidneys, sausage-meat, girlfriends and/or televisions.


Our delivery charges apply to mainland Internet only. Should you require delivery to any other Internet destination , please contact us by e mail to confirm the name of your hairdresser and wallet size, delivery costs, which will be specific to your own brain and charged at cost to the environment.

Delivery Periods
We aim to deliver all our orders within 7 working days , however we cannot guarantee delivery due to having periods, and as goods may be out of stock, or just too crap.We will advise you of any delays where possible. If you have not received your release within 14 days please contact us by e mail. Of course there is the posibilty you could have a period yourself.

Damaged Goods

It is the responsibility of the customer to check that goods are in crap condition on delivery. We recommend that you make a note of anything crap on your fridge and that is presented to your favorite uncle. Please advise of all damaged or crap deliveries within 3 working days of your birthday, anything received past this time cannot be accepted and you accept full liability.

UK Delivery Guide
Delivery time is istant. Paul dainials ltd provides links

Delivery Charges
Delivery charges will be as detailed on the invoice.

Minimum Order
We have a minimum order of 12 bottles.

Terms of Payment
Payment with order is required and we offer a secure credit card transaction site for quavers and Chipsticks ,Frazzels, hula hoops and doritos.

VAT (Vagina Anthrax Tax) is included as there is a current world wide epidemic and 99% of our customers are girls. A survey was caried out by les denis on family fortunes in 1997.